Monday, June 1, 2009

Reason #22 Why I Might Be A Bad Influence On My Children

I attended a high school choir concert with my daughters this weekend--it wasn't their school, and none of us knew anybody in any of the choirs, it was just a "thing" we had to do for school, cuz they get credit in their music classes for seeing other live performances. Last semester, the credit came from seeing The Academy Is and We The Kings at the Cabooze on Halloween night.

No, that's not Reason #22.

The concert was of the "pops" variety, where instead of requiring the discipline of traditional choral arrangements, they let those whacky kids play around with popular music.

16 songs into it, there was an intermission.

Let me say that again. SIXTEEN songs into it, there was an intermission. Sixteen songs was about half.

I'm not entirely sure about this, but I believe that you can go to see the Rolling Stones and not expect 30 it would seem that for some reason, the choirs around here just like to show off. I mean, the Rolling Stones can play their whole damn library in one shot if they want to and nobody's going to bitch--they're the Rolling Stones. They've earned it.


There were some truly delightful highlights. And there was some dumb stuff. Think Glee Club Corny. It's a high school pops concert, what-are-ya-gonna-do?

The 16th song, the last one before the intermission, was 'Livin' On A Prayer', which I consider to be one of the stupidest songs ever. I don't really care that pretty much everyone in Bon Jovi can retire because of how hugely successful that song is, and good for them, but, I think that particular song is far too corny for human consumption and should not be performed by anyone, anywhere. Ever. It should also never again be played on a radio, or on anyone's car stereo within my earshot.

But that's just me.

On this beautiful Saturday afternoon, the sun was shining, and it was warm and gorgeous outside. Inside the auditorium, shivering at the hands of some sadistic maintenance person who opted to set the air temperature to "bone chilling", I sat watching a large group of high school students in costume, singing AND DANCING to 'Livin' On A Prayer'. I sat mostly still through the entire song--didn't pull out my phone and text people about the horror of the moment with any "OMG, they're singing f*cking Livin' On A Prayer'" or anything like that. I was a very good girl...very respectful. It took every ounce of strength in my body.

After the students cleared the stage, I leaned over, looked at my daughter and said, "Yeah....we need to ditch..."

To which she nodded and definitively replied, "Yeah."

We got up and left, weaving through a lobby full of people who were all happy as banana cream pie to be there and (mostly rightfully) proud of their kids, hoping they wouldn't notice us hurrying toward the nearest exit. Once we were back in the daylight and I was sure none of the performer's parents were anywhere nearby, I exhaled my distaste, threw the kids in the car and took them to a fast food restaurant, where we laughed about the concert and also about the dude who hit on my at the ketchup station, as the children described a scenario of hooking up with someone you met at Burger King and therefore having to go back there every year on your anniversary. God, I love my children. We have a lot of obligations--school stuff, work stuff, family stuff, friend stuff. Sometimes, it's nice to be able to call something "Lame" and blow it off, together, eat food that's not good for us and see which one of us can be the snarkiest. This is my family. My beautiful, beautiful family.


  1. Sixteen songs just to get to intermission? Wow. I went to my son's choral concert last week and they sang 9 which seemed a like a pretty high number...and he's my kid!

  2. Yeah...the MIDDLE SCHOOL concert I attended a couple weeks ago had 22 songs. Jeez...I've never seen anything like that, but it appears to be fairly normal around here since all I ever get for an explanation is "you must be new..."


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