Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
- I have never spoken to, assisted or worked with any bonafide jerks name Jose. I've dealt with total bitches named Sherry, assholes named Robert, complete pricks named Jeffrey, thoughtless bitty's name Gretchen.....I've dealt with awful people of every name, but one. Everyone I've ever met named Jose? Completely nice, without exception. I just noticed that on Friday. Weird, right?
- By the way? Jose says I deserve a raise. He's nice like that. And he's also smart, so, you should listen to him.
- The walls in front of my face (right behind the computer monitor) are papered with important data with names like "Confidence Interval Range" I don't look at them nearly as much as I thought I might, which is an indication that I'm keeping far too much math in my head. I tell my children that the only advanced math I ever use is converting knitting patterns, and that is true in my life's application; however, I can now rattle off enough math-sounding bullshit to make my high school algebra teacher want to nudge his colleagues and say, "You see that? I did that!"
- How many databases do YOU look at every day? Me? At least a dozen. Spreadsheets? Another couple dozen. How about some useless data? How about some gossip? Some crap-talk? How about, "Person X behaves/spends money/performs a task the same way 99.83% of the time per our data, BUT I also heard that even though he is a great guy (per our data) that he dinged his car backing out of a parking space, his wife is having an affair, and his only son is failing Geography" See? Much more fun.
- I think I'm still waiting for the part where the days go faster when you're busier. Has anyone seen my Time Acceleration Device? If only my desk were a Tardis.
- Wait a minute....if my desk were a Tardis, I could jump back in time and fix all of the stupid problems that we're solving now, before they occur! Then I could take vacation days instead of wondering what how Person X is behaving, per our data. I will present this idea to the higher ups, and hope that one of them is named Jose...
Monday, March 22, 2010
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
- No, I'm not just Irish for the food. Besides, if a lot of Americans were introduced to "real", day-to-day Irish food, they probably wouldn't like it as a consistent diet. The stuff we are scarfing today is kinda like eating Taco Bell and calling it "Mexican Food"--it's really just a hint of a whisper of the actual thing, altered for your comfort.
- Also? I'm not wearing green. I wear my name every day, that will have to do.
- Having said all of that, yes, I'm totally cooking the food, and drinking the beer! Duh! But I'm not going out anywhere, because why? Because St. Patrick's Day is one of those things we refer to as "Amateur Night". Be safe, everybody!!! Taxi drivers need love, too!
- Feeling a little wonky at work--really just wonky about everything, in general. A couple of years ago, I was all "Steady as she goes," but right now I'm very "What was I supposed to be doing? I forgot." Problem identified, problem eliminating weaponry at the ready. (OK, basically I just have to tell a couple people to f*ck off, but, "problem eliminating weaponry" sounds so much nicer...) The thing is, I never developed the "skill" of goofing off and/or work avoidance....I wish I had! Then I could be just like everybody else at work.
- MyGawd I miss smoking. Seriously. I'm blaming the inability to stomp out of a room and go have a cigarette to 'cool off' as the prime reason I'm being such a doormat lately. I'm not rebelling against anything! I'm healthy and socially acceptable! How BORING is that?
- OK, kids....I think we're going. You going, too? Maybe you should. I'm talking about The Blast. I don't normally attend, but, as Cursing Mama will attest, the one-two punch of both Martin Zellar AND BoDeans may simply be too much to resist. It'll be fun. Maybe we'll run into that lumberjack-looking guy from First Ave who was very worried about Sammy's hair. Or the Charlie Brown Dancers that we met in Stillwater. Or any of the fine and funny people I've been telling stories about for all the years I've been attending BoDeans concerts. Or maybe there will be some new people. Or maybe it will be me that's funny, and you can write on your own blogs about the half-drunk sometime-redhead who laughed all night, and kept trying to smoke cigarettes amid the protests of her friends. (They don't have ticket info up yet, that I can tell...I'll check back later...when I need yet another thing to distract me from wanting to smoke...)
Monday, March 15, 2010
Yes, this was my Olympic knitting project. Yes the 2010 Winter Olympics are long over. Yes, I just finished them. No, I didn't really actually watch very much of the Olympics. (Hmmm...maybe that is why these took so long?)
Anyway...finished! And it should also be noted that I quit smoking somewhere during and/or immediately before starting this project, so please feel free to file your Shelly For Sainthood noms with the Vatican (or wherever you do that...I'm not actually Catholic, so I'm probably not invited to that club, anyway...) because not only did I quit smoking, but I also quite smoking while trying a new technique, using teeny-tiny yarn and needles, making up a pattern and design as I went along, and, the clincher, cabling. Lots and lots of cabling. Did I mention that I hate cabling? Yeah...
Call this the "I'm A Bit Fuzzy On The Details" detail shot.
Use your Sharp Focus imagination to picture the pretty cabling and yarn-overs and picot edging and stuff.
Next up? Cover Hat from Knit Simple Mag, in black, for Punky. By the way, you can win a cover hat kit, just follow that link to enter, but the deadline is TODAY, March 15th, so you should hustle!
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
|Hats (and socks) off to a skillful soldier|
GAIL ROSENBLUM, Star Tribune
Staff Sgt. John Sorich of Eden Prairie is grateful that everyone in his unit returned home safely 10 days ago. But he's a little pensive because they're no longer together. His was a more close-knit group than many.
Sorich, 26, served for a year with the Army Reserves' 401st Bridge Engineer Co., stationed at Victory Base Camp in Baghdad. While trained as a corrections officer, Sorich made his mark by facing the stresses of daily duty in a creative way: stockinette stitches.
Sorich knows his way around a knitting needle: winter caps, gloves, socks, even a pouch for his M4 rifle (the latter made with parachute cord). He shared his skills with a growing number of bemused fellow troops who stopped ribbing and started stitching. At one point, 10 soldiers, all but one of them male, joined him in an occasional knitting circle, many sending home their creations to surprised loved ones at Christmas.
Sorich arrived home Feb. 25 with 10 knit caps he had made for buddies, two wristlets and the world's longest sock. He ran out of time to make its match. All totaled: 62,000 stitches and countless kudos.
"Wow! Army Strong knits!" blogged Meghan Dunn, co-creator with Victoria Higgins of the Canadian-based vintage-knitting blog, Handmade by Mother, (http://handmadebymother.blogspot.com).
"If anyone is still under the illusion that knitting is only for little old ladies ... just look at all these rough and tough American soldiers knitting in Baghdad, Iraq!"
While Dunn's blog typically pokes fun at the most ghastly patterns of yore (the complete name is "Handmade by Mother so you damn well better wear it!"), the reaction to Sorich was closer to awe.
"My reaction was, my gosh, this is fabulous. I have to write up a post for you," Dunn said. "We were honored that he had contacted us and told us what he was doing."
Sorich wasn't looking for fame, though. Just help. A longtime member of the Historical Reenactment Society at Historic Fort Snelling, Sorich hoped Dunn could lead him to World War II British military patterns or pictures of knit items created during the "Knit for Britain" program. She posted his request and will forward responses as they come in.
Sorich's fascination with wartime knitting began at Eden Prairie High School (he's a 2002 graduate), but its roots go far deeper. He's John IV in a family of military men. His great-grandfather John served in World War I, John Jr. in World War II. His father, John III, served in Vietnam. Sorich joined the Army Reserves six years ago, while studying corrections at Minnesota State University, Mankato. He works as a juvenile corrections officer at the Hennepin County Home School, a state-licensed residential treatment facility for juveniles ages 13 to 17. Not surprisingly, Sorich noted, almost everybody there, from staff to students, knits.
After his deployment in 2009, Sorich had no desire to knit, especially in 120-degree heat. As the weather cooled in October, he pulled out a knit cap he had brought with him. "One of the guys in my unit saw the hat and asked me about it."
Sorich started to knit again, causing quite a stir. "At first, it was, 'You're knitting?' No one could understand why I wanted to do it. I said, 'This is weird? You play World of Warcraft all day.'"
He told the guys it was great stress relief, and a new skill they could be proud of. It was also relatively easy. The impressive caps require only three stitches, "pretty basic stuff," he said. "They could instantly zone out and relax."
Soldiers started wandering over, asking, "You guys going to knit tonight?" Sometimes a few joined in, sometimes as many as 10. Many left their computers behind when they headed to other bases, but not their yarn.
Speaking of yarn, most of it arrived in Iraq thanks to Sorich's sister, Naomi, who made regular trips to Needlework Unlimited in Minneapolis, buying skeins of a replicated olive-colored yarn that is modeled after an original World War II glove knit by members of the American Red Cross. (Knitters out there: It's Cascade Yarns 220 Heathers, color #9459.)
Joe Torkildson, 29, of Arden Hills, also assigned to the 401st, is a longtime friend and fan of Sorich's handiwork. Sorich gave Torkildson one of his signature caps a few years ago. "I said, 'This is sweet, man.' When we were deployed and he started knitting, I thought, 'I've gotta learn this.'"
Torkildson knit a scarf for his wife, Kendel, twice. The first attempt was a disaster, which he ended up unraveling. "It was sad, actually." He tried again. "It was ridiculously ugly," Torkildson said, "but when you wear it, it actually looks pretty cool." Kendel loved it, he said, mostly because, "I had 40 hours into this thing."
Sorich heads to New Zealand on vacation this week. But he made an important stop first. Needlework Unlimited manager Laura Schelde was thrilled when Sorich came into her yarn store Wednesday to show her and other employees one of the caps he knit in Iraq with their yarn.
"He was serving our country and knitting at the same time," Schelde said, getting teary-eyed. "It's especially nice to have a little hero come back and say, 'Look what you helped me do.'"
Gail Rosenblum • 612-673-7350 • email@example.com
Thursday, March 4, 2010
I wonder how long that's been there?
One assumes Valentines Day. Or at least I do. But here it is, March 4th, and, that's the first time I saw it. Can you imagine if it was meant for you and you were me, and, you didn't see your very special and labor intensive overture until almost three weeks later?
Yikes. That conversation pretty much writes iteself.
"Uh....I didn't see it!"
"Didn't SEE it? It was 20 feet tall! How could you not see it?"
What if they broke up because one was thinking that the other never makes a gesture, and, so, the other made the huge snow gesture and then got pissed because the first person didn't acknowledge it? BECAUSE THEY DIDN'T SEE IT??? I can totally see that happening because, well, a guy not making a gesture is the kind of thing that annoys me, and also? I didn't see it. Until today.
What if a guy was making some last ditch effort to get a girl to pay attention to him and convinced himself that his midnight stomping escapade would be just the ticket, and she, like me, DIDN'T SEE IT?
Oh dear....that's really too sad to think about.
Hopefully, it was a sweet, corny, hokey thing where the person who did it called the other person and told them "Look out the window" and they ended up rolling in the snow in laughing celebration of how awesome it is that they have each other.
Those Jerks! Flaunting their happy like that...!
Yeah....how annoying would that be to us single people? Us single people who are too busy to see the gigantic signs right in front of us. Hmmm...
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Monday, March 1, 2010
- Did anyone ever use the word "fantabulous" before Van Morrison did it?
- Does anyone now?
- The Michael Buble "thing" from the closing ceremonies last night....anyone? Anyone? I mean, when I saw him standing there, singing, dressed as a Mounty, I thought, "uh, that's kinda lame". THEN I saw the backup singers file onto the stage, in their semi-tarty "mounty" (read "Mount Me") costumes. THEN Buble tears away his own Mounty uniform to reveal that he's actually Bobby Darin! Holy Sh*t. I have no comment about giant inflatable beavers or moose--all of what came after Buble seemed perfectly appropriate by comparison.
- This is good. I mean, it's cool in a chill, black and white, behind-the-scenes sort of way. AND, from what I have heard of it (snippets, only snippets), their new album really is quite exciting. Very....awake. Yes, that's a compliment! Shut up! In a month, when it's finally in my hot little hands, maybe I'll say some more nice things....
- I had a hilarious time on Saturday night. While searching for live music, and, not wanting to drive around the city all night, my friends and I ended up standing in front of a Motley Crue tribute band. Now...I'm not about to judge anybody doing whatever in order to make a living--hey, as long as you're happy and you're not harming anyone, what the hell do I care? The irony, pointed out by my friend, is that by paying an $8 cover charge to see this tribute band, we (he) paid more to see them than we paid to see the real Motley Crue when we were both in radio. I realize that it is absolutely wrong of me to have very little concept how much a concert ticket costs. I have bought some recently, so, I'm not a completely awful person, but, talking me out of a hundred bucks so I can look at someone famous is kind of a tough gig. I've seen some really, really famous people and some really amazing shows, but not many of them were as entertaining to talk about the next day as the Motley Crue tribute band. The audience alone was about a weeks worth of blog posts--you can't make this stuff up. Besides, I think we have seen, from previous posts, (Here, Here, or Here...just to name a few) that the audience is usually just as, if not more, interesting than the band at any given show.