Thursday, April 30, 2009
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Mad Cow--A fatal bovine brain and spinal-cord disease, or grocer-speak for cheap rib eyes
Elephantiasis--"Big balls" should only be used figuratively
Horse's Ass---Diagnosed solely by angry wives and cured by withholding sex and hiding the remote
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Friday, April 17, 2009
Thursday, April 16, 2009
She's like me, only...not. She's stubborn as hell (like me), and all of my friends have come to know her by her "other" name, which is Arguing Annie, a name bestowed upon her by her father and his wife, years ago, before she actually got good at the art of the beat-down. If only they could see her now.
She's also all about hangin' with friends, relaxing, having a good time, and that is ABSOLUTELY me, all the way. I don't think she looks a lot like me--more like a combo of her dad and my brother Randy--but she's been the cutest thing for so long...and I suppose she used it to her advantage for WAY too long, but, that's another post.
We differ in one small way, and that is that I am what I would like to consider a "thorough" person (detail-oriented freak, if you prefer), and she...not so much. She'd just rather hang with friends than, say, clean her room to any liveable level, put shoes on before going outside, do the dishes (her dish night takes three to four days), or study, or, any of that other dumb stuff. You can imagine what her grades looked like. OK, you don't have to imagine it, I'll TELL you!
Crap! They looked like CRAP!
I never had any serious grade issues when I was in middle or high school--I'm not sure why, it was just very easy for me. I think that it is probably easy for her, too, she'd just really rather be doing something else.
Anyway...I got a phone call yesterday from the child herself, advising that after a long, loooooong battle between us regarding her grades, that she is now practically acing everything, and that the lowest grade she has is just one C. Dramatically different from the many F's of months ago.
First of all, I would like to take this opportunity to apologize for being totally stunned by this revelation.
And I would also like to say...
Wow! Holy Wow! How did you do that? I mean, seriously, you NEVER study! hehe...
In honor of No F's, I would like to share a series of pictures of Cissy NOT studying, because finally, after all this time, she has made it work for her. Yay!
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Every marriage therapist has heard it dozens of times. The tearful wife says, "I'm not sure he really loves me anymore," and the bewildered man drops his jaw in astonishment.
"What do you mean I don't love you, I go to work every day!" he protests.
"You would do that anyway," she says scornfully.
He sighs in frustration, ready to throw in the towel, because she seems to hold the trump card. What he is unable to say is this:
"It's true; I would go to work every day if you left me, but it wouldn't mean the same."
Chances are, if she left him, he would be a shadow of himself, merely going through the motions of living.
Men have a hard time giving the reasons why they value their wives because their wives are the reason they value everything else. We men tend to live in our work and routines, but we live for our families. In general, wives provide the meaning of life for their husbands.
The Toll of Divorce and Widowhood on Men
In terms of physical and mental health, as well as job performance and concentration, divorce and widowhood are more devastating to men than women. (Just think of the emotional well-being of your male friends whose wives have left them.) The following are a few of the elevated risk factors to the health, well-being, safety, and job performance of divorced and widowed men:
• Impaired problem-solving
• Narrow and rigid focus (can't see other perspectives)
• Lowered creativity
• High distractibility
• Higher error rates at work
• "Heavy foot" on the gas while driving
• More car crashes
• Hair-trigger reactivity
• Anxiety, worry, depression
• Resentment, anger, aggression
• Poor nutrition
• Shortened lifespan
Make no mistake, women suffer in divorce too, but in general the benefits of marriage and the psychological harm of divorce skew considerably toward men. This is partly because women maintain and nurture the family's social support structure. They remember people's birthdays and anniversaries, which friends like which kinds of movies, and whose turn it is to go where for dinner. When women leave the marriage, they take that support network with them, while their abandoned men sit by the phone and wonder why no one calls. Divorced women rarely face the same kind of emotional isolation as divorced men. (There is no need for an aphorism like, "No woman is an island.") They are less likely to develop mental health problems, alcoholism, and suicidal tendencies, and are extremely unlikely to engage in high-risk behaviors like speeding and playing with guns. By almost every measure, marriage is more essential to men than to women.
The Invisibility of Meaning and Purpose
We are not accustomed to thinking about that which provides meaning and purpose to our lives. Meaning and purpose rarely take the form of everyday goals and aspirations. Rather, they result from fidelity to our deepest values and are, therefore, more noticeable in their absence than in their presence. Men tend to under appreciate the value of their wives until it is too late, after she is exhausted from coping with her perceived isolation in the marriage. A great many men then fall in love with their wives as they're walking out the door.
Leaving Your Comfort Zone
To flourish, committed relationships require both parties to come out of their comfort zones for each other. In the realm of meaning and purpose, men need to appreciate the importance of their wives before they lose them. No man ever regretted on his death bed having told his wife too much how important she was to him.
Women need to appreciate the difficulty, indeed unnaturalness, of perceiving (much less articulating) meaning and purpose. Your husband will not do it as easily or as often as you would like, but he must do it more often than he would like.
Put another way, successful marriage requires that you both leave your comfort zones in order to grow into the love that rises from your deepest values.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Monday, April 13, 2009
Friday, April 10, 2009
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
I recently accepted the challenge of cycling in the American Diabetes Association's Tour de Cure fund-raising event with the Schering Plough cycling "team". The Tour de Cure is a series of cycling events held in over 80 cities nationwide. The Tour is a ride, not a race; it features different route lengths from a family-friendly 13-mile course to a challenging 100-mile journey. I've opted for the 100k (67 mile) ride that starts in central New Jersey (Basking Ridge) on June 6th. I have joined thousands of others who will pedal in support of the Association's mission: to prevent and cure diabetes and to improve the lives of all people affected by diabetes.
I am asking you to help by supporting my fund-raising efforts with a donation. Your tax-deductible gift will make a difference in the lives of more than 23 million Americans who suffer from diabetes and over 57 million people in the United States with pre-diabetes.
It's fast and easy to support this great cause - you can make your donation online by selecting the link below or directly to me in the form of a check made out to the American Diabetes Association.
Any amount, great or small, helps in the fight against this deadly disease. I greatly appreciate your support and will keep you posted on my progress. If you want to do even more to help, please consider joining me in this great event - there are 30 and 13 mile options at this event for riders who don't want to spend hours in the saddle. Our efforts will help set the pace in the fight against diabetes!
More information on the American Diabetes Association, its programs and diabetes in general can be found at the Association's Web site: www.diabetes.org
For more information on Tour de Cure, please visit www.diabetes.org/tour.
Thanks for your support!