Thursday, April 1, 2010


Oh, Company Store don't have to ask, "Hungry?" if I'm standing in front of your cash register with a bag of beef jerky, a container of cottage cheese, a bag of sunflower kernels and a pack of gum.

There's no need to state the obvious.

And Yes, it is obvious...surely it is well known that the combination of beef, dairy fat, and seeds in my hands indicates that I was in a training meeting that everyone swore would only be an hour, hour and a half, tops, and it actually went on for two and a half hours and if I don't get the exact, perfect ratio of protein and fat in my body immediately, I'm gonna rip someone's head off.

Everybody knows this.

Please don't make me smile and be nice right now. There are rules.

Just like if it's a Saturday morning and I'm in line at BK buying an original chicken sandwich, and won't remove my sunglasses no matter what? You should know better than to ask if I got drunk the night before.


And please note the subtle difference between Work Hungry and Hangover Hungry--most notably, Hangover Hungry allows carbs. Not potato carbs, though, just bread carbs. That is to say, hold the fries. Work Hungry allows only the carbs one would find in a piece of sugarless gum, and only after you've consumed all of the other stuff, and only because you forgot that you don't have a toothbrush in your purse and you just ate an entire bag of beef jerky. got it now?


Carry on.

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