Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Ease Of Operation

Instead of apologizing for bullet points, I have decided to put a positive spin on them and say that they are designed with your happiness in mind.  User friendly!

  • Today is 4/20.  I remember when I worked at a high school, how dumb 4/20 was, and why?  Because teenagers are already stupid--no need for enhancements.  I have no quarrel with people wanting to un-brain themselves for the purposes of occasional relaxation, but you and I both know that very few people under the age of 30 can really afford to knock off for more than a minute.
  • I accidentally took a day off yesterday.  My car was being fixed in the morning, so I figured I would go into the office around noon....no such luck, since I didn't get the car back until 5, but WOW do my closets look amazing!  Wooo!  See what happens when I'm sitting around, bored?  I'd like to do that again, please, minus the "Hand over all of your available funds or the SUV gets it," part.
  • I think that when someone tells you how much your car repair is going to cost, they should add some perspective-builders to it, like saying, "That'lll be _____ dollars, which, by the way, is $300 more than your monthly grocery budget."  Just a thought.
  • My daughter, who is vegetarian, is now taking it a step further and committing to a vegan diet.  Here's a little something I found out while digging around online for vegan recipes--there are people out there who are vegan who pass judgement on other people who choose vegan because they are apparently not vegan enough, or they are vegan for the wrong reasons, or they are eating the "wrong" vegan food.  Seriously?  Seriously?  Way to go, militant vegans!  Way to make nobody want to join you!  I mean, if there's no way anyone can do it to your satisfaction, then why bother?  At some point, they'll have the rib-eye, just to spite you.
  • Don't you just love it when a business screws something up, doesn't fix it until you've got them at knife-point, then acts like they were going to do the right thing all along?  Yeah, I'm talking to YOU, Ticketmaster....and just so you know, you're still on my shit list until those JC tickets are in my hands.
  • Friday night, I ate at a restaurant with friends, and when I handed the waiter my bank card, he asked me if I needed change.  Yikes.  How about you just give me back the card, there, Skippy?
  • Sunday afternoon, I ate at an Italian restaurant where the waitress performed a miracle and got the chef to create a dish that didn't have cheese on it, just for my kid.  That's quite a feat at an Italian place.  Meanwhile, the rest of us at the table merrily stuffed our faces with as many kinds of cheese as we could name.  Excellent.
  • My friends that I ate with on Sunday act like they don't get out to restaurants, much.  Everything about somebody handing them a menu was impossibly novel to them, which means that either they need to get out more, or I am horribly spoiled.  If I am spoiled I do not wish to change--even though I love to cook, I love to more when other people do it.  Restaurants might be my favorite places in the world.
  • Attending my daughter's softball games makes me really want a little doggy.  Something about sitting on a blanket behind left field just begs for canine companionship.  Yeah, softball season doesn't last as long as a commitment to dog ownership, but I'm sure I can think of other things for us to do for the rest of the year.  It will have to be an Action Dog--ready to hop in the car and go at a moment's notice.  Actually, I think all dogs are like that, or want to be.  The only question is, how many adventures will the dog need under their belt before the children dress them in a super hero cape?


  1. Love me the doggy pr0n at CM's link. So many cute faces.....Just don't read how awful human beings are to animals in the dogs' stories. It's a big bummer and I can't possibly take all those dogs.

    I already have the cape; I gotta find the dog that fits it. Doesn't the Cinderella story work for dogs?

  2. You guys....seriously, I have been looking at those sweet chihuahua faces all day! The dog-free household will not last the Spring...might not even last the month of April.

  3. There are militant eaters of every ilk. Trust me on this one.

    That is all.

    And get a cute little doggy!!!

    Okay. Now I'm done.

  4. I love bullet lists. Sometimes, they are all I can manage (to write and/or read). As for the vegan thing, there is a correlation with righteousness and any cause. The more sacrifice involved or the higher the outsider status, the greater the righteousness. Failproof equation.

  5. Excellent point, Vikki--"I suffer greatly, and society won't bend to my self-induced need for special food, so, therefore, I am better..." LOL

    But seriously, folks...my daughter was watching some variety of PETA video on the computer the other night, and the voiceover struck me as having a familiar tone. The weird thing is, since my daughter is no Christian and pretty much has a problem with the whole Christian faith, I barely had the heart to tell her that the "sermons" that the PETA folks were giving were no different from any Christian sermons I have heard, declaring their way the "right" way and all others "wrong". It's just another group with an agenda, to me, just like the church.


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