Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Prepare To Be Amazed

Inane.  I hate inane.
I hate inane so much that I find myself assigning meaning to conversations that are actually just "small talk", a concept which I haven't been able to wrap my head around in all of my 43 years on this planet.
Inane is when Super Smarm is telling Mini Smarm how "the wife" drives the Lexus, and he has the Mercedes.  Nobody actually gives a shit about this, and I think we can all agree that Super Smarm is just car name-dropping because he thinks that it matters.  And yet, he has an audience for this drivel.
Meanwhile, I don't even know what YEAR my car is.  Or how many miles it has on it.  However, I do know that it needs an oil change, and that it is being a very, very good sport, despite the neglect.
Inane is when Carrot Chomp guy and Office Dipshit spend 20 minutes discussing their "dress watches" and how they are having the hardest time keeping them working, what with having to send them off for costly repairs.
I'm more of a disposable watch kind of person, myself.  And once the battery wears out, the watch goes in a drawer of other watches that I thought were cool at the time I purchased them.  I actually haven't worn a watch in a couple of months, because it was summer, and hey, the livin' was easy.  Wonder where I put the last one that worked?
Inane is Carrot Chomp boy continuing his really, really deep conversation with Office Dipshit by describing driving over the crest of Thompson Hill and seeing Lake Superior spread out before him, as if this was a view he personally discovered, that nobody else could ever appreciate quite as much as he.  It should be noted that he didn't actually know the name of the hill, but, he discovered it, damn it!  It should also be noted that he's probably never been inspired, after a long weekend of business elsewhere, to follow that feeling of awe and happiness and just keep driving from Thompson Hill down to the beach, then walk right into the water, business attire and all.
Inane is....mostly, people applying importance where there really isn't any.  You have a nice car, you have a nice what?  What are you doing with the rest of your life?  Just working to maintain them?  What a waste.  In his brilliant, brilliant book, Life 101, Peter McWilliams talked about that silent killer...maintenance.  Or rather, "You can have anything you want, but you can't have everything you want".  You just don't have the time.  Sure, you can hire someone to clean your apartment, or fix your watch, or take your car in to get the oil changed (Please?)  You work hard, you have the money--go for it.  But you can't hire someone to hang out with your friends, or roll up their pants leg and walk into Lake Superior for you.
I'm sometimes saddened at what I see...people who are otherwise successful, who seem so closed off and fearful--afraid to experience REAL emotion, REAL happiness, or gut-wrench sadness.  With all that they accomplish, they're afraid to "put themselves out there".  What if it hurts?  Or worse, what if it's really, really great and instead of enjoying yourself, you spend all your time thinking about how hard you're going to land when it all goes to hell?
Sadly, any time I think that I am being fearful, I need only look around me to see that I'm a fairly liberated individual--so many others are crippled, from my friend who can't light a cigarette without making sure that the Marlboro insignia is facing upward, to people who can't face a day or an occasion without a drink, to the guy who looks longingly at the lake but never walks into the water.  I AM free, but also, feeling pain in my heart today, for those who are scared to take a leap.  So often, we (and definitely I) look upon these individuals with disdain.  When your phone rings at 2 in the morning, and you answer it to find out that it's a friend drunk-dialing you and you're pissed, you may or may not realize that this person doesn't even have the strength to have a conversation with you without booze--they are SCARED to.  THAT's the kind of thing I'm talking about here.
Anyway...that's where my head is at.  If you feel inclined, and you know someone who could use it, concentrate on releasing them from their fear.  If you pray, or meditate, wish them peace, and see what happens.  Prepare to be amazed.


  1. Great post - and now I feel like wading.

  2. I can't tell you how many summer days I've driven over that hill and thought, "yep, I'm going in..."

  3. Holy shite, Shelly. This is a terrific piece of writing. I saw so many examples of the walking wounded out in Denver this weekend. HBB was talking about how he half expected the whole damn park to just implode from all of the pain that we had gathered together in one place. Heart pain. From people just living their lives.

    I'm trying my hardest to live in my this decade of my life. I was much better at it in my first decade but then I closed up when I started paying attention to what other people might be thinking. And now - opening up to helping others release themselves from the pain and fear that they are shut in with... wise words, woman. Very wise.

  4. Stuck in my head this morning...

    "And a rock feels no pain;
    And an island never cries."


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