Thursday, September 17, 2009

Nearing The Harvest

I get a real burst of energy in those first cool, crisp days, and life seems to pick a faster pace, as well.  I love the fall.  It may be a "bounty" sort of thing--think harvest, if you will.
In a lot of matters of the moment, I feel like one of those farmers that I knew growing up--watching the sky, and hoping the weather would cooperate down to the right moment, so they can head out to the field and collect the rewards of a season of work.  They've done everything they could do up until now, to ensure success.  The last little bit, the sometimes agonizing wait for things to fully ripen, is left to fate.
I am a person of faith.  That is not to say that I am religious, because I do not categorize myself in that way.  Maybe I'm just too intellectual to attach any feelings to the Bearded Man In The Sky figure with which so many find comfort.  For my mind, there are just too many holes in the stories, and without explanation, we are asked to "just believe".  I can't help but think about all of the horrible things that were done to people while someone continued to assure them, until it was too late, that things would be "fine".  Just believe.  We're just goin' for a little boat ride to an exciting new world...(where we'll make you do hard labor until you die).  We're just rounding everyone up and putting them in a concentration camp for, just for now...don't worry.  You get the gist.  It seems so passive to me, to just believe.
Not all believers are passive--the ones that I respect, and there are many, are "doers".  I believe in energy, and I believe in energy directed, meaning, ultimately, the harder you work, the luckier you get.  Sometimes, the hard work you do consists entirely of directing your thoughts toward a positive outcome, and, that's called "praying" by most, or "meditation" by me and many others.  I respect that, because at least you are doing something, instead of sitting around and letting things happen, wondering why you have been forsaken, and explaining your disappointment away by saying that the Lord works in mysterious ways. 
(If you ever hear me reference "The Nuns" it is because one of my friends happens to work at a retirement home for nuns.  I highly recommend that you ask these fine women for help if you should ever have a need for lots and lots of energy to be directed at an outcome.  Never underestimate the power of a couple of hundred people concentrating very hard on your problem.  My friend scratches names in the prayer book over there fairly regularly, and disasters are averted at every turn.  It's a beautiful thing, prayer.)
There are lessons in everything.  Everything.  If the lesson you are supposed to be learning is the lesson of how not to be a victim of life, trust me, you'll be presented with that lessen over and over again until you learn it.  Obviously, there is no way to know for sure, but I happen to believe that nobody goes to their grave without learning their lesson--it's just that some people are too stubborn, and hold out until their last breath is leaving, when they know it's over, before they have their "ah-ha!" moment.  I choose not to be one of those people.
The last several years of my life has been filled to the brim with these lessons.  How stupid I was, just a year ago.  Five years ago, I was completely unconscious.  Because I chose to accept that there are lessons, and chose to do the (sometimes utterly crappy) things required to complete them, I shall never be unconscious again, ever.
And so....September.  The potential is heavy in the air.  Do you ever have moments when you feel like everything that has happened before, throughout your entire life, was just leading to right now?   
No?  (hehe)
Well, it's crazy amazing.  And you would think it would be kind of scary, and it is, a little.  It's been an incredible season of hard work, and now I have my eyes to the sky

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