Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Say Your Name Is Kevin...

And say you sit right next to the grouchy person in the back. We'll call her "Shelly".

Now, say you, Kevin, spend your entire day on the phone, making approximately 100 short, outbound calls, and receiving approximately 100 short, inbound calls.

And say every time you make a call, you dead-pan identify yourself like this:

"Jane. Kevin."


"Bob. Kevin"


"Michael. Kevin"

You get the idea. No "Hey, how are you?" No, "Hello, my name is Kevin". No consideration of the fact that in our building(s), we have caller ID and, almost all of the people you are calling already know it's you...Kevin.

Additionally, say every time your phone rings, you pick it up and say, "It's Kevin". (Which I'm sure it's supposed to be "This is Kevin", but it ends up sounding like, "It's Kevin" or even "Tis Kevin", are a fast talker, Kevin.)

Let's just pretend, for one moment, that this is you.


How ya doin', Kevin? Just heard a cool thing today, and thought you might be interested: Variety is the spice of life, hon. Oh yes! It's true! I hear that in other lands, people answer the phone by saying all kinds of different things! Sometimes, when they call people, they relay a bit of greeting to that person, just for the hell of it! Like, they may ask, "How's your mother?" or something that shows that they are at least vaguely interested in the other person, who, unfortunately, isn't "Kevin".

I's crazy....that would never work. And besides, who has time?


  1. Shelly, CursingMama.
    You need a VACATION!

  2. *snork*

    Good thing I haven't mixed my drink yet today!!!

    (I haven't answered a 'work' phone since Dec 2007 and I still occasionally have the urge to answer the phone with, "BIS, Suzie." Wait. That makes me a Kevin.....bummer)

    My word is chintsu--isn't that a new kind of dog?

  3. I'm not currently answering a work phone--well, I DO, but nobody calls me except my friend Barb and my daughter once in a great while.

    When I worked in radio, I did a night show and we had a jillion teenagers calling in all the time--I found myself answering my home phone with the station call letters just out of habit...

  4. I answer the phone by identifying my department but just realized I don't give my name. There are just SO many words! When I place a call, however, I do always identify myself and exchange niceties. Shit - I'm 50% Kevin.

  5. OK...I want to stress that I am not without sin... :-)

    I answer the phone thusly "(company name), this is Shelly"

    But my phone rings about 4 times a day, maybe. Kevin is on the phone all day. And he has a rather "sharp" voice (for lack of a better word). He always sounds like he is in a huge hurry, even if he's just chatting--it's like he's trying to rush you through by the sound of his voice. Just not relaxing, I guess. Maybe that's why I've been so stressed since they moved his desk over by mine...


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