Friday, January 2, 2009


I think I am almost ready to EXHALE....finally. 
"Running at an insane pace" doesn't even begin to describe it.  I think we were all around for the Holiday discussion, right?  Where I told about how I got to see a bunch of family members by vitue of the fact that they got stuck at the airport, one by one, and I had to go pick them up, one by one?  Meanwhile I was moving, and it was Christmas?  Yeah, that was nuts...
Usually, for most people, after Christmas you can chill, a little--you glide into the New Year, and its pretty mellow.  For me, working where I work, "gliding" is not an option, cuz thousands of pieces of paper have to leave my hands and go someplace else, BY MIDNIGHT, DAMN IT!, and everything has to be verified authentic, and, you know, date-stamped, stapled, paper clipped, whatever.  If the insurance industry every REALLY went paperless, we'd really get fat and sassy, but for now, we just have this once-a-year full-on effing panic in which everyone is scrambling. 
You might refer to it as "Open Enrollment".
Anyway, working my job the week between Christmas and New Year is like bartending last call in a crowded club for 10 hours a day, several days in a row.  People wonder why I went home and collapsed on New Years' Eve instead of going out....I earned that nap, thank you...and now that I am 106 years old, I"m going to take those little sleeping opportunities when I can.
I have a feeling that sometime in the coming weeks I'm going to have that good cry--like, I'll be standing in line for a coffee and notice that what I thought was change in my pocket is actually paper clips, and I WILL melt right into the floor, weeping about the stupid job and the stupid apartment and the stupid ex-husband and how I dont' have anything planned for dinner, and I can't afford to eat, anyway, and I'm sleepin' alone and blah, blah, blah, and it will all just gush out of me while innocent bystanders stare, horrified, not knowing if they should offer me comfort or just call the nice people in the white van.
If you happen to witness this, just usher me out to the smoking lounge, and let me goob for a bit and I'll be fine.

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