Last year, at about this time, I sent my husband flowers. He had moved to Mobile, AL, and was setting up housekeeping there, and the rest of the family was in Duluth, MN, UN-setting up housekeeping there.
The reason for the flowers was the one-two combo Valentines Day (*blech*) and the anniversary of our first date, which is very close to Valentines Day. Usually, we would use that combination of Real and Corporately Contrived reasons to celebrate as an excuse go out to some ridiculously expensive dinner or something. However, we were living 1300 miles apart at the start of February last year, so, I sent him some ridiculously expensive flowers instead.
I liked sending my husband flowers from time to time--some might think it a bit backward, because supposedly the guy is supposed to send the girl the flowers, but, I did it anyway, because I wanted to. I enjoy being a recipient of unexpected flowers, so, it was fun for me to send them.
He, on the other hand very, very rarely (OK, "Never") sent me flowers. Its not like I stood around, tapping one foot and complaining that he never sent me flowers--It was not that big of a deal to me, but on one occasion, I really, really wanted some flowers and asked for some.
(Jeez, who wants to have to ASK for flowers? That's so lame...)
I knew that even though I had asked, that he still wouldn't do it, and I was annoyed by this, so I did up a One Sheet explaining what I wanted (lilies), where to get them, why it was important, and by what date I would like to see those little SOB's sitting on my desk at work.
The flowers arrived, but, since I knew it was definitely NOT his idea, nor something he wanted to do just out of the goodness of his heart, I didn't really enjoy them. Big surprise. I never asked again.
I used to go out with a guy who gave me flowers CONSTANTLY, like, literally every other day. Finally, I had to tell him to knock it off. Have you ever seen 37 flower vases all together at the same time? I have.
And right after that, I had to figure out what the hell to do with them all...
My next boyfriend after Lots O Flowers Guy ended up being my husband, so it is entirely possible that I went into my marriage with a less than excited attitude regarding bouquets. In fact, when we first started going out, I may have actually said the words, "Whatever you do....do NOT send me any freaking flowers...." because that is where my head was at, at the time. Its possible.
This morning, I got an email from one of the flower services that I use, reminding me that it was time to "Make Jim's Valentine's Day special again."
At first, I sort of chuckled and moved to delete it.
Then, I didn't delete it.
Then I sat and stared at it for a little while.
And now, here I sit, thinking about how I loved that man, and how I tried so hard, and how, in the end it was all for nothing. I only wish he would have had the decency to tell me that he would never give a shit and that I was wasting my time. That, would have been nice.