Saturday, January 3, 2009

Waaaaaay Too Blonde For This Household...

If everybody at Winn-Dixie could please calm the hell down, that would be great.  Really, really great.

Jeeeeeez....make one smart-ass comment about Winn-Dixie and nipples, and they're all over you.,,,

Hi!  How the hell are ya?   Good, good...

Another amazing day in wonderland.  Hope yours is good.

I have to dish on the grandma for a moment, cuz, its just too rich not to share.  My children have a lovely grandmother (not my mother, not that my mother isn't a lovely grandmother...), very nice lady, never hurt a fly.  And, she picked them up some Christmas gifts, which was quite nice.

I know how the weirdness I am about to reveal came to pass, and that is entirely because Grandma doesn't get a lot of time to spend with the grandchildren--she's very long-distance, which is a bummer, cuz, like I said, she is a nice lady.  She was always very nice to me, anyway.

Sooooo....the Christmas gifts. 

The gifts. 

The gifts are, well...things designed for 8 year-olds.  And, I no longer have 8 year olds.  Ooops. 

Punky and the Diva are 13 and 15.  Not too hip on the stuff that 8 year-olds like.  I would like to stress that they are incredibly gracious 13 and 15 year-olds--quite mature for their ages, a fact proven last night upon opening a gift from their paternal grandmother that was emblazoned with a picture of a particular Disney singing icon, who, for the moment, shall remain un-named.

To fully appreciate the hilarity of the event, let me describe The Diva to you in this way....pretend Johnny Ramone and Chrissie Hynde had a baby 15 years ago.  Are you with me?  I mean, not just looks, but total personalities, too--right down to the occasional snarl. 

OK....and....I think we can all agree that the Prentenders/Ramones set is not the target market for the Hannah Montana stuff, right?


I had friends tell me that they would have PAID to see The Diva open this.  PAID.  Cash money.  As it happens, I didn't see it either--I was in a different room and The Diva was alone at the time.

But I did hear the screaming.

(Ahem....its not that we don't think Miley has talent, its that we find over-marketing to be one of the most insidious evils known to man...The problem is that now, even though the girl CAN actually sing, she's completely screwed by her own marketing monster.  Most unfortunate...I hope she is making enough money to retire.)

Luckily, we have little, little girls living next door--twins, about 6 years old.  The re-gifting will be swift.  And bless Grandma's heart for making the effort--it was sweet.  Even though it was all pink and smiley and waaaaay too blonde for this household...

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