Wednesday, July 8, 2009

I'll Tax Your Feet

Looking over my cell phone bill today...
And I realize that nobody likes to look at their cell phone bill, but check this out!  I lived in Mobile, AL, when I got this account, and my cell phone area code is still 251--didn't feel the need to change it, since it's been my number for over a year now, but, I live in Minneapolis, and so, apparently must pay taxes in both Alabama and Minnesota.
I want you to take a good long look at this list of taxes, pasted directly from my cell bill, and tell me what you think...
Alabama State-911 Tax - $0.70
Alabama State-Utility Tax - $0.92
Minnesota State-911 Tax - $1.50
Minnesota State-Sales Tax - $6.65
Minnesota State-Telecom Access Fund - $0.12
Hennepin County-Sales Tax - $0.38
Minneapolis City-Sales Tax - $0.47
Grand and Groovy Taxy Total - $10.74
I will add that, I'm not a "no-tax" activist of any kind, and, having lived in both Alabama and Minnesota, I do prefer Minnesota.  The schools are DRAMATICALLY better here (Minnesotans, picture your kid in an all-day study hall, and see how you feel about that...that was our experience in Alabama public schools), and though Mobile was a lovely city and the infrastructure (roads, etc.) appeared excellent, I'm ultimately more at-home here than I was there.
My experience (or rather, what I heard) was that Alabama politics was rather notoriously corrupted--I suppose they didn't think they could get away with being corrupt AND charging high taxes...
But...just look at that list!  What the hell?  I'm just one person--imagine everybody in the state paying that, every month, just for their stupid cell phones!  Makes you awfully pissy about driving over pot-holes, paying through the nose for student field trips (we paid NOTHING in Alabama--the kids didn't learn anything, but the field trips were fabulous...), crazy choir directors, and a host of other things that make you wonder what you're paying for, which is the REAL list we all ought to be paying attention to. 
I believe that I shall keep my Alabama phone number for as long as I possibly can--changing it only saves me a buck and a half a month anyway.  Wait...what if there is a "You Have A Minnesota Phone Number Now, Bitch!" tax?  Better stick with the 251.  Besides, I want to keep looking at that list...makes you think.


  1. You know - I don't have a "plan" I pay as I go - and I pay exactly....the standard sales taxes when I buy a refill card at the store.. but if I refill online it is zip, nadda zilch. None of those funny extra charges or taxes though. Please don't tell the legislature that I have devised a way to avoid their taxes.

  2. I'm telling!!!

    OK, I'm not telling. You go, girl! hehe...I probably wouldn't have even noticed that. Well, maybe i would have. Eventually. I don't particularly care about money or think about it all that much, which I suppose is just not very smart, but for some reason, I seem to always have some, so, there ya go...


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