I was archive diving and found this little scribble from June 18, 2008--thought I would re-post. Ironically, it's a post based on something I originally wrote in 2007, which was, itself, written during the fallout from a chance encounter from late 2006.
You would think I would not miss several years of "emotional mess", but I do. I am not a drama queen by any stretch, but I do love to FEEL, and I want to feel love, and am not content to shut it off because I'm afraid it's going to end badly. I have had my share of bad endings. Yes, they sucked. They all sucked. I'm not going to lie--it is a teeny bit depressing to read things that I wrote while "under the influence" of some gigantic emotion while I sit here feeling blank for several months in a row. It's coming around, though. Slowly. And as I climb back up to a place where I can feel those huge feelings again without worrying about my hand being slapped, I am heartened by this post.