Did you ever have someone talk to you as if you were very small?
I mean something along the lines of a, "Wow, you tied your shoes all by yourself! You are such a BIG GIRL!" kind of thing…
Why yes, just today, in fact. Why do you ask?
Let me give you a little background, starting with the obvious, that being that I'm a grown-ass woman and any patting on the head that occurs as a result of my miraculously being able to do something any normal grown-ass woman should be able to do is only going to result in me being annoyed at your condescension.
Also, I have been speaking in the grown –up language about grown-up topics for many years now. Granted, I spent 14 years in radio, so, I was a bit slower in developing my Adult Persona (radio is really all about extending your inappropriateness as far as you can, for as long as you can), but, I stopped doing that ten years ago, and I now know how to behave appropriately in many situations.
Funny thing is, when I was in radio, everybody assumed I was appropriate when I seriously wasn't. Now that I'm no longer in radio, they assume I can't be appropriate. Weird.
Anyway….today, I wrote an email. It was an email just like the million other emails I write every day for work, and somebody went out of their way to say, "That email you sent to Dr. So-And-So was very appropriate."
As if they were concerned that I would send Dr. So-And-So an email that was inappropriate.
As if, for my jollies, I like to annoy and confuse our clients, and when I'm feeling REALLY crazy, I create litigation-able correspondence in hopes that I can say something SO inappropriate that my Fortune 500 company gets sued.
(Insert eye roll here)
Does anyone out there have a job where people act like you know what you're doing? I'm just curious if they even exist.
I'm a writer, OK? I write. That's what I do. I write. To assume that I cannot create a simple document is the highest insult. So I just would like to take this opportunity to very inappropriately say "Fuck off" to the people who do that. Please also note that the "Fuck off" is located a safe distance from the business correspondence. Because I'm just that good. Now please, don't let me keep you from the very important business of fucking off. Thank you and have a wonderful day.