Thursday, March 11, 2010

Hard Pill To Swallow

Hives.....cursed, cursed Hives. 
Not THE Hives, the band who's music gets under your skin (I love!)--I'm talking actual hives.
Imagine, if you will, that you had hives every day.  Every day for almost a year.  Do you think you'd be ready to kill someone?  Like, literally rip someone's forehead open?
Welcome to my world.  A few months into it, I started to feel a bit like Job, only not as patient.  I was covered with the modern equivalent of boils, after all.
I have to believe that in our time of science that there is a better treatment for this problem than a daily time-release antihistamine.  Really?  I have to take a pill?  Every day?  For the rest of my life?  And if I don't, I get itchy hives, no matter the season?
What. The. Hell?
Everything about that is wrong.  Everything.
What about the time when I was perfectly fine, never got hives, had no allergies of note, and DIDN'T have to take a pill every day to keep from ripping my skin from my flesh?  What about that?  Can we get back to that?
Here's the thing...last Spring, I had a staph infection, and was treated with a boatload of antibiotics.  Since then?  Every day, hives.  Itchy, annoying, "I'm gonna kill someone" hives.  Call it the old "hard to tell the poison from the cure".  Antibiotics killed all the stuff that used to prevent me from getting hives every single day.  Now I have to take a daily antihistamine, just to keep from losing my mind.  I don't know about you guys, but I find it hard to believe that we haven't yet figured out a way to revive these bad-ass killaz so they can get back to the business of PREVENTING DAILY HIVES.
You know what bugs me the most?  When I went to the doctor and (in my usual style) very emphatically exclaimed that "OHMYEFFINGGAAAAWD! I GET HIVES EVERY DAY!  EVERY DAY!  DO YOU GET THAT?  EVERY DAY!!!"  And the doc was all, "Just take an antihistamine" and I'm thinking "EVERY DAY?  ARE YOU SERIOUS?"
On the long list of "things that cause hives"?  Cold temperatures, Hot temperatures, Sweating. in Minnesota.  Or anywhere.  Getting up, walking around, moving.  Or not moving. 
I REFUSE to believe that there is no cure.  I flat-out refuse to believe it.  Period.
I don't really buy into the "better living with a daily pill" thing.  I've been offered all kinds of pills in my life--"just take a pill!"--and I can't help but think....Really?  In 2010, we're such a bunch of mutated losers that in order to NOT be uncomfortable, we have to take a pill?
Again....that's just so damn wrong.  WRONG, WRONG, WRONG.


  1. If it was a better pill I might be inclined to consider it....but plain ordinary antihistamine ~ not so much.

    Any idea what the allergen is?

  2. That's awful. I get a single hive when I am extremely nervous (which is super weird, I know) and it drives me nuts. Have you had allergy testing?

  3. Well, Zyrtec, specifically, CM (or the store brand, to be even more specific, because, uh, has anyone priced Zyrtec recently? Ridiculous.)

    It's like they got together, said, "OK, we're going to make the world allergic to something unspecified so they HAVE to take Zyrtec to avoid going insane"

    And there is my conspiracy theory.

    My friend Bill has the same thing going on! Maddening! And nothing that had ever caused any serious allergic reaction before, just like me, but now, we're pretty much allergic to our own sweat! Crazy...


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