Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Because Fantasy Is So Much Better Than Reality

I wrote this big, huge, long thing about how I came to be a person who doesn't subscribe to the "Life Sucks, Then You Die" bit, and how I only go for those bits of information that promote my lovely, rose-colored glasses point of view, when I realized that what I was doing was essentially "re-arrange your thoughts" writing and that I was taking the long way around to get to a simple conclusion:
What some people call "fantasy", and what I call a level of certainty of a really, really great outcome, no matter the odds, is so much better than the "reality" that a lot of people accept as "this is just the way it is".  Heaven help you if you don't have a dream.
It doesn't matter how I came to this conclusion, or what insanity I have wandered into because of it--I'm sticking to it.  And I say this, even though my fantasy life has been kicked repeatedly in the shins and knocked on it's ass a few times, too, in the last year.  For me, it's just....so weird to not get what I want.  It literally goes against everything I know.  Not that I grew up a spoiled kid or anything--I just somehow grew up not believing anyone who ever told me "you can't".
Anyway, I had one of those maudlin (stealing that word from Crazy Aunt Purl, because I love it), weepy mornings today, and I wondered if maybe I just have my sights set too high, because in my head I'm not getting what I think I'm supposed to be getting--one thing in particular.  I decided, after writing the big, huge, long thing, that sights can never be set too high, and that while not getting what I want every time really sucks, these setbacks are only temporary things.  We live to chip away, another day.  It shall be mine.  No wall can hold forever.  One day, my pretties...one day.  And when it happens?  I'm totally getting a tattoo...don't care if I'm 90...
You need to hold on to hope.  Hold on tight.  Think of the thing you want, and think of yourself with it.  Yes, disappointment sucks, but it does that to teach you yet another way how to NOT achieve what you are trying to achieve.  Slowly but surely, you will eliminate all but the correct course of action.  Keep trying.  Never quit.  Never.

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