Tuesday, June 22, 2010


Three things I know to be true:
  • People are weird.  I don't think that's the same as "People are strange," is it?  Luckily, most of the weirdness is amusing and not scary.  I should probably elaborate on this, and I know that I'm being very guilty of "vague-booking" or whatever they call that when you make a statement and don't explain yourself.  The thing is...BECAUSE people are weird, they have a tendency to freak out and/or think you're talking about them when you're not.  Just to be clear--if I have never met you, for real, live and in person, I will not talk about you without mentioning your name.  That is to say, if I'm talking about you and I've never met you, you can assume other people are talking about you too, otherwise, why would I bother?  So, for example, if Madonna (never met her, and other people know who she is), is being weird, I'll say something like, "Madonna is being weird," not, "American Performer Living In England, You Figure It Out is being weird".  HOWEVER...if I have met you, and you're not a public person (with a linkable online presence...) you'll get a pseudonym.  Or I'll refer to you as an "asshole".  As always, if you don't like your pseudonym, you have my phone number--go ahead an suggest something else.  If you don't think you're an asshole, please feel free to explain yourself--I'm dying to hear it.
  • Some musical experiences, you just know will be perfect.  Or close to perfect.  Or at least they will be exactly as expected, even if the expectation is high.  A few months ago, when I saw that Sting would be appearing with the Royal Philharmonic Concert Orchestra, I thought, "Well, that sounds like a close-to-perfect musical scenario..."  And that is very much what it was.  A few truths here--first, anyone allowed to wear the name "Royal Philharmonic" is probably going to be top-notch.  This, we know.  Second, having seen Sting a few times before, I know that one of the very best things about him as a song-writer is that those songs have good bones--you can change the arrangements, add or subtract instruments, thrown in a verse from some other song he wrote or any number of other things and the song itself does not lose it's structural integrity.  I remember seeing him one time years ago where he performed one of his biggest hits in a slowed-down, completely different arrangement, and people around me we upset by this!  Hey, people?  If you wanna hear the record, buy the record.  If you want to delight in the creative process, see it live.  And if you want to really, really have a good time and not be able to take your eyes off the stage, go see someone unafraid to surround themselves with incredibly talented people.
  • Today, my 872nd birthday, I got stuck at work.  Usually, I would take the day off.  The bummer about being a single parent and having a summer birthday is that when you opt to take the day off on your birthday, you can't just flop on your couch for 6 or 7 un-interrupted hours of, well, anything, because your kids are out of school for the summer, and there they are...hanging around.  The only way for them to NOT be hanging around is for you to do something or take them somewhere, and then you're not flopped on the couch, you're doing something.  Then, if you're me, you fluctuate between, "Why aren't these people waiting on me hand and foot?  It's my birthday, damn-it!" and, "No, no...you guys don't have to do anything...it's not a big deal".  Because I'm psychotic like that.  Ultimately, I would rather be alone, but I'd rather that someone spot shine the entire house before they leave, because it is my fucking birthday, after all.  And, of course...I want them to instinctively know what I want without me having to tell them, which is another facet of my psychosis, and pretty much the entire reason why I am a single mother as opposed to a not-single mother.  See how that all fits together?  At the end of the day it turns into one of those, "I can't believe I'm sleeping alone on my birthday!" feeling-sorry-for-myself things which I am only able to snap out of by reminding myself that no one has done me wrong, I'm just flat-out impossible to please.  So I might as well go to work, where that psychosis can be put to good use.


  1. Happy Birthday!

    From now on I'm thinking of celebrating my 1/2 birthday instead of my real birthday. I expect everyone around me to celebrate the real day with the wishes, and waiting on me hand and foot (I dream!), but I'm going to start taking my 1/2 birthday off instead of the real one....for just the reason you have pointed out.
    Maybe we can coordinate a mutual 1/2 birthday and do lunch. With drinks


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