Monday, June 7, 2010

If You Knew All The Stuff I Got Paid To Do This Morning, You'd Be Sooooo Jealous....

Don't you love it when you have a meeting scheduled and it's the first and only thing on your schedule, an all day event, and you've been REMINDED TO DEATH about the meeting, and there has been a lot of "Make sure you bring ______ and _______ and _______ to the meeting!", and "Make sure your security badge works so you can get into the meeting!", and you're toting half your office around to some remote location a half-hour early because you have a meeting and when you get there, the meeting consists of someone rolling in 10 minutes late to tell you that the meeting has been rescheduled for tomorrow?

One of my favorite things, why do you ask?

See, this is where that "phone" thing would have worked so nicely.  Phone, email....whatever.  If somebody wanted to stop by the house to mention that the meeting had been cancelled, I wouldn't have chased them off the lawn.

Luckily, the morning was destined for fun, so, a meeting would have just sucked the life out of it anyway.  It started off while I was waiting for the stupid non-meeting, with some Facebook hilarity, meaning, my friends and I were having grown-up humor time, which will likely cause one of my older relatives to either scold me outright or actually TELL ON ME to my mom and dad because FB is just "no place to talk about" that stuff, and isn't it weird that even when you're 43, you still don't want people to tell on you to your mom and dad?

Here's a small portion:

Me: California is putting together a referendum bill to legalize recreational pot use?  I know I don't watch the news, but I can't believe I was not aware of this!
Friend A: That's because they never report the GOOD news
Me: Yeah, but with the way the voters screwed up on Prop 8, I'm not holding my breath

And...that would be the natural place for someone to insert a joke about pot smoking and breath holding, right?  What did we get instead?

Friend B: (insert oral sex/breath holding innuendo)

Which is why I dearly love my friends.  Also why I'll probably be shunned at the next family reunion.

All on the clock, thank you.

Blip forward to meeting time, I'm dressed in my fabulous new dress and heels, and I've hauled the contents of my desk from one office to another, and Whoops! No meeting.  I haul it all back to my car, where I notice a missed call from GodBlessTexas that I had waited for all last week.  Yes.  I waited an entire week for that phone call, and, during the small window of time that I was unavailable...they called.  Recruiter.  I call back.

Me: Hi, you called?
They: Yes, I was wondering if we could schedule a phone call?
Me:  Is this not a phone call that we're on right now?
They:  Uh....yeah....I guess so.
Me: wanted to talk to me about something?
They:  Yeah. 
Me:  OK...
They: Oh, you want to talk right now?
Me: Yeah...Just got a hole in the schedule...

The Recruiter proceeded to ask me a bunch of questions that anyone with access to my employment history, like, for example, a Recruiter who works for the same company, with my entire employee profile right in front of him, should know the answer to.  Stuff like, "Where do you work?"

Me: I work the same place you work.
They: Really?
Me:  Really-really

It's probably a bad idea to think too much about the fact that promotions at your job are largely in the hands of people with the attention span of a wren.

Still on the clock.

Co-workers and I agree to scoot back to the office rather than skip for the rest of the day, even though we know we could probably get away with it, so I take the long way and somehow find myself blasting down Highway 100 going 76 miles an hour through town in some kind of Zen driving, loud music thing for which I was also paid and miraculously not pulled over. 

If I could figure out a way to do that full-time, I would, in an instant.

I arrived safely, in time for my lunch break.

So tell was your morning?

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