Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Lazy People

I've been meaning to write this for a while, now, but I was too lazy.  OK, that's a lie.  I was actually too busy.
Here is a short list of personal pet-peeves.  You may use this list to spot lazy people.  These are the people, who, no matter what their position in life, probably won't go out of their way for you in a time of need.  These simple signs tell you a lot about a person, in my opinion.  This list assumes that the people in question are able-bodied, they just choose to be lazy.  Let's have a look, shall we?
  • They take an elevator up one flight, carrying nothing more than their lunch bag.  They take an elevator down one flight.  Or two flights.  Or even three flights.  It's DOWN, OK?  How tough is it?  People who take an elevator down at all are kind of annoying, unless they are working in a high-rise, or something.  I work in a building that is five stories tall, and have never set foot in any of the elevators, except the one time I had a cart full of stuff that had to go up one flight.  I think there are five or six elevators here!  Why?  This is not a big building!  All day long, I see people getting in and out of those elevators.  Meanwhile, I hop up or down the stairway, which is right next to the elevator, and I reach our shared destination well ahead of them, because, after all, they had to wait for the elevator, which was being used by some other lazy person who wouldn't walk down a flight of stairs.
  • People who push the accessibility button to open the door.  I'm not talking about people who are confined to wheelchairs, or even people with an armload of packages for whom opening a door might be a hassle--I'm taking about people breezing up to a doorway, with maybe a laptop bag over their shoulder, pushing the damn button instead of just pulling or pushing the door open.  Seriously?
  • Sloooooow walkers.  They make me crazy.  Everything about a slow walker screams "I have no purpose, nowhere to go, no plans, nothing to do...just ambling along..."  Blech.  It should also be noted that almost all slow walkers I have encountered in my entire life have gigantic asses.  What does THAT tell ya?
  • The ones who drive and drive and drive around, so they can secure themselves a parking spot near a door.  Really?  Get a tag for your car, so you can park in a designated spot if you have difficulty walking!  The parking ramp at work has lots of those kinds of parking spots, all located right next to the elevators...
I know that we want to look at things in a humorous way, and yes, I am pointing and laughing.  And it's true, some people have "hidden" physical limitations, but I'm willing to bet my next pay check that the majority of the people I see doing these things do not--they have only mental limitations.  Even I have a "hidden" physical limitation--a neurological condition and arthritis in my spine interrupt the flow of cerebral spinal fluid sometimes.  I know plenty of people with the same condition who use it as an excuse to sit around a lot.  They have that choice, but I gotta tell ya, that's the opposite of the cure.
When you are thinking about the people that you are hanging out with, or the people you might think that you would like to hang out with, think about this: Are they motivated?  Ambitious?  Or are they stalled, and looking for company?  You know what I'm sayin'....it's like the drunk who doesn't want to drink alone.  People who can't be bothered to move THEMSELVES are never going to move YOU in any significant way.  For them, every door is too heavy, every doorway too far to walk, and every stairwell too treacherous.  And yes, you SHOULD consider these physical signs as signs of their general attitude about life.  They are neither taking you, nor leading you, anywhere good--only to the easy places.  Even if they were taking you somewhere good, by the time you slow-pokes get there, all the good stuff will be gone!

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