Saturday, November 8, 2008

You Have Been Granted A Third Date. Do Not Screw It Up.

I would classify myself as an intolerable bum in the blogging world so far this month, and wouldn't be wrong, but that's only because I've been Queen of Productivity in every other department.
There is one sure tactic in being the Queen of Productivity, and that is the dreaded "avoid the television".  That, and being left with a stack of stuff that has to get done, plus the incredible freedom to tackle it in my own way, for approximately 9 truly focused hours every day. 
You'd be a productive freak, too, if it was you.
I remember back in the olden times...the ancient days, when I was a youngster in my 20's, the thought of turning off the television seemed absurd to me.  WHY would I do such a thing?  I mean, didn't these people dishing advice on my viewing habits realize that I had SHOWS to watch?  IMPORTANT shows?
I no longer have shows.  I haven't had shows in a long time.  Sure, there are programs that I like to watch on occasion, but for the life of me, I couldn't tell you when they come on, or what day they air.  I watch them only if I happen to turn on the TV and they are on.  You know...geek stuff like Modern Marvels, or any of those "This freak thing will cause the complete destruction of the planet" shows on the Weather Channel.  That's to me about tectonic plates and volcanoes under a particular national park and how not a one of us will survive the shit--that is the kind of perspective a person needs, lest they start thinking they are important in some way.
Speaking of people feeling important, let me explain the main reason I've been avoiding the television for the last several days.  Can you guess?
If you said, "The Election", treat yourself to your choice of a hunk of fabulous chocolate or...I dunno, whatever it is that guys like--the chocolate is for the girls.
It isn't a case of sour grapes keeping me from watching the Woot!  Woot!  Obama! coverage--I voted for him, after all.  I wanted him to win, am glad he did, and knew, weeks ago, that he would.  But watching election night coverage, the media started to bother me for real.  All the days leading up to the election, they were there with their barely contained candidate lust, which was kind of annoying, but when he won the thing, the top popped on the champagne and the gushing commenced.
Since I like to (obviously vainly) imagine that I might have something to offer, perspective-wise, to this situation, I'm gonna say something that I think needs to be said, so, here we go:
"Elected" does not mean the same thing as "crowned".  "Elected" means that the American people are giving a person a shot--giving him a chance.  It means that a majority of people who voted thought one might do a better job than the other, and please never, ever forget that the presidency is just that--a job.
Now, sadly, this particular job doesn't have the standard 90 day probational period.  Barring extraordinary circumstance, the presidential probational period is a long-ass four years--a hell of a long time to be stuck with someone if you happen to find out within the first several months that they suck at their job.
That is part of the reason why electing a president is so hard...they are notoriously difficult to ditch after the second date, if you find out that they still live with their mother/chew with their mouth open/etc.  (Cuz nobody ever talks about that stuff while they are campaigning....)  No, the just keep showing up.  You're kinda stuck with them.  *sigh*
I suppose my avoiding the TV this week is about the same as me plugging my ears and doing the "La-La-La-not listening!" thing.  It's not that I don't want to know, I just don't want to know EVERYTHING.  And also--I don't really care.  There are a dozen networks that do nothing 24 hours a day except dig out minutia and obscure facts and try to make them significant--significant to a campaign, or to a presidency.  They are not.
What matters?  How about, what kinds of thing does a guy do when he actually starts DOING THE JOB? 
Cuz that's all I really care about.
I don't care what color he is, if he likes pancakes, once disobeyed his 4th grade teacher, needs a haircut, grabs his wife's ass in public, picks his toenails in bed, doesn't rinse his milk glass--none of that.  Doesn't matter one iota.  My judgement will be based entirely on if he does, or does not, royally suck at his job. 
Is that strange of me?
Anyway...if you should happen to ask, "hey, did you watch that thing about Obama last night?", understand that if it isn't yet mid-January 2009, the answer will likely be "No, I was busy".  (Bummer that we can't get things rolling with the two-week notice like in the real world, but, oh well...)

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