Thursday, February 18, 2010

Turn and Burn

Sitting at the office, giving it my full attention for the next 30 minutes.
Not really.
I'm sitting at the office wishing I was SMOKING.  Grrrr.....
Oh the drama.  Lots of talky-talky around here, and INSANITY, and for me, talky = smoky.  Smoking is WHAT I DO when there is much conversation to be had.  I'm one of those cigarette waving, pace the floor smoking types...
...only, by "floor" I mean, "patio" or some other outside area, obviously, since I live in Minnesota.
I'm having a mini flash back to late Spring 2008---read all about it, right here.  I was living in Mobile, Alabama, wanting very badly to strangle my stepson every single day because he was such an awful little prick and I had no support from my husband on that issue, and my kids were coming to me for help because the combination of my husband and his kid was so awful together, one by being awful, and the other by letting him be awful, and my kids and I were getting completely screwed at every turn.  I had a vision in my head of a better life with none of that insanity, and I knew that something was about to blow up, I just didn't know what it was going to take for that to happen. 
Turns out I was right, and, something blew up, and eventually, after I left, the boy's father noticed that his son was, in fact, an awful little prick. 
Glad you finally saw the light, honey.  And honestly?  I'm sorry that it took me leaving for you to get that.  I wish to God it had turned out differently.
This feels like that. 
Oh, the players are different.  But there is still some awful, and, there are still people coming to me about the awful, and they are getting hurt by the awful, and I haven't the heart to ignore it.
F*ck, I need a cigarette...

1 comment:

  1. As I'm sure you know - you are technically past the physical issues of smokin' so now it's just your brain talking... not that it helps to know.


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