I tell myself I'm not election stressed, but it's a lie. I live in a world of instant answers, and not having instant answers about election results is stressful. I don't want exit poll stuff, I want real results, so...wait. And stress.
In the meantime, here is some stuff about the election.
- My kid voted in her very first presidential election today. I remember mine. I remember walking into a polling place wearing a "vote" pin (didn't have a candidate name, just said "vote") and I got stopped for a moment by a poll worker. The year was Nineteen-eighty-jeezuz-was-it-that-long-ago and it was somewhat uneventful after Pin-gate.
- As you may have heard, there is a woman on the ticket this year. (REALLY!) This does not mean much to me and I realize that the fact that it's not that important to me is the significant thing, here. It's perfectly normal, in my head, that a woman can (and in this case, *should*) be elected President. It's not an anomaly. It's just a person stepping up to accept the challenge of the day. Women have been doing this forever, we just finally got to the part where men stopped poo-poo-ing us enough to get to a good place. Nothing to get excited about! Just a thing.
- Then I went on the internet and it was all, "OMG I'm weeping about this!" while reading other people's stories. An unexpectedly emotional day.
- Then I realized that my kid, in her first presidential election, got to vote for the first woman at the top of the ticket. And I was proud of her and of us.
- Then, true to form, my kid sent me a Snapchat with an "I voted" sticker on her forehead and a caption that read "Trump 2016!!" Not to worry--she followed that up with a "just kidding, guys" snap. She does know how to mess with me. Did I ever tell you about the time she cracked the joke about selling sex on the street corner when she was 11 or 12 years old? Or the time she wanted me to take a pic of her chugging from a wine bottle and sent it to grandma? I think she was maybe 13, then. I love that record-scratch sense of humor of hers. She's brutal, in a good way.
- Hey, Hey, USA, what the hell took us so long? (since we're talking) Other countries have had plenty of women in positions of power, for, like, ever.
- This election has shown me many things about my country that I do not like. For example, people who happen to be complete fuck-heads are feeling pretty OK about themselves right now. I can't tell you how many times during the last month I have uttered the words, "Fuck these people..." in reference to those who threaten (excuse me...I mean "joke about") violence toward the other side. Because Fuck. Those. People.
- Just a qualifier about that last bullet point: I've been around these effing guys my entire life. I grew up in a place where any kind of intellectualism was thought of as a bit of a weakness. This disease has spread across the country and there has been a steady crescendo of the "My stupid is just as good as your smart" bullshit for the last several years. You know what? It isn't. It fucking isn't. Smart is smart, and stupid is stupid. One is good and one is bad. They are not the same or even close. They are not equal. Also? Fuck. Those. People.
- I decided that the word of the day would be "Repudiation." Smart people, you're good. Stupid people, ask a smart person to explain it to you.
- Every time we do this election thing I feel like it's kids running rampant and making a huge mess and then grown-ups show up to enforce calm. Think about this year....you had a ton of people say that Trump would win just based on the size of political rallies. This is logic a KID would formulate in their head. They have such a limited concept of human beings that they think anyone who doesn't behave the same way they do can't be real. I just want to say, "Thank you, grown ups!" Thank you for showing up and keeping our shit together.
- Favorite over-heard joke so far today? "Tomorrow's headline will read 'Orange Crushed'." Here's hoping. Thanks Lance Gould!
- Second favorite thing: Fuck-head Farage (Nigel, to his friends, if he had any) asks "Will today be Brexit day in the USA?" and the internet reminds him we brexited 250 years ago.
- The stickers on Susan B. Anthony's headstone...another unexpectedly emotional thing, for me. The line of people waiting to pose for pictures by her grave? You can't help but feel something when you see that. No, she was not without fault. She wanted women to vote but didn't consider women of color worthy of that right--suffragettes of color had it tougher. I'm not one to forget those things. I'm glad to live in a time where I can get both the emotion of the day and an important history lesson at the same time. We get a little better every day.