Friday, November 11, 2016

It's Like Drunk Tweeting, Only Longer

Not sure how many days in a row I've had this particular headache but I'll chalk this one up to "tension" and/or "stress" and go for the Fireball Whiskey instead of the pain reliever.

What am I saying? Fireball Whiskey IS a pain reliever!

You can find Fireball Whiskey in the cordials section of your local liquor store, which would seem to indicate that it is more like schnapps than whiskey, but for my purposes, that's OK.

Last Thanksgiving I carried a flask of Fireball to a remote campsite in the Adirondacks while my fellow hikers carried cans of beer. Fools. The flask in question was actually a water filtration reservoir that I was supposed to be using for emergency water. Oops.

I'm a nice person, so I did allow them to throw some of those stupid, heavy cans of beer into my pack to carry, even though I was apparently the only one with brains enough to go with "hard" liquor instead of beer for that trip.  What's another pound, right? When we got to the camp, we were met by younger, more athletic hikers who had carried up a couple of glass growlers full of their favorite brew. I felt lazy for bringing a puny flask.

I have found it handy post-election to tell people, while in the throws of some heated online discussion about whatever, that I'm drinking Fireball and therefore laughing at every fucking thing I read and hear. They get a little less angry at me for being so wildly liberal.

FYI, I'm not wildly liberal, I'm just regular liberal. That's the kind of lib that the right claim doesn't exist, but I assure you, we're here.

When I'm drinking Fireball I get to this nice euphoric state where things are good and everything amuses me. I start reading things out loud, even if I'm the only person in the room, because whatever it is I'm reading is so damn amusing, it must be shared.

The cats look at me funny. 

I don't care.

(Since we're talking, reading things out loud is really the best way to enjoy a thing someone has written, especially poetry. Try it.)

Fireball Whiskey. Makes me listen to music "better", and makes me write worse.

Listening to...? Del Amitri. Which I do sometimes, but not a lot. I'm not a nostalgic person, and sadly, Del Amitri albums are all...(*sob*)...older records now. But...Fireball. I seek out some warm, happy comfort.

(Short break while we get all serious, cuz you know she's not a real drunk chick if she doesn't get serious at some point: I really do dig Del Amitri. I'll pull some adjectives out of the air for you--let's see how I do: Accessible? Listenable? Thoughtful. Clever. Melodic. It's good stuff. You notice the guitar work a bit more while you're drinking and the particulars of the vocals. It's different drunk than while sober. More Del Amitri, please, and thank you. Want me to tell you about that time when I was working nights at a Top 40 station when "Here and Now" was released? Yeah. Totally rigged several nights of one of those 'call in and vote'  radio shows in their favor because what a great fucking song. I tell my radio friends (and this might not mean anything to you non-radio people, so go ahead and skip to the next paragraph) that I would always pot up the fades of Del Amitri songs while playing them on the air because there was good stuff hiding in those fades. Ya faded too soon! Guess we can apply that statement to a lot of things.)

Because I am currently learning/studying French, I have the keyboard on my phone set to French language and it keeps correcting "Amitri" to "amitiƩ". This is, of course, very amusing to me because of the Fireball.

I started sending drunk texts, in French, to people who don't speak French, and tell them, "Oops, sorry, I've had like 6 shots of Fireball!" as if I normally send texts in French, just not to them.

I'm feeling much better. Clearly I needed the laugh. We all did.

Thanks Fireball.

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