We Are Not Friends

Have you ever worked with someone where they make it personal and you're just there doing your job and you say or do something related to doing the job and they act like you just ripped out their heart and threw it on the ground and stomped on it?

 

 

No?

 

 

You're so lucky.

 

 

So....there was that thing last week, or, the week before or whenever-the-hell it was when I was involved in some kind of office mud slinging of which I barely did anything, just basically told someone that what they were doing was not their job and that we already have someone who's job it is to do that so "knock it off".  Seriously.  Nothing.  Honestly, I had forgotten all about it but found out today that that person was were telling my boss and my boss's boss that she and I were "fighting".

 

Whaaaa....?

 

 

Oh honey....that's so cute the way you think that my day is any different based on whether or not you walk in the door.  I'm just here to do a job.  I'm not here to make enemies or friends, just to get money in exchange for doing a thing, in hopes that the better I do it, the more money I get.  Maybe I'm crazy, but I thought that is why we were all here.  It should be noted that I don't get to rely on cuteness or youth or bitchiness or whatever it is that you think you've got going on there, so I have to put in the work, and excuse me if sometimes when I'm putting in the work that I don't take the time to placate you by pretending you're something special.

 

 

We are not fighting.  To say that we're fighting implies that I spend my day worrying about how I'm making people feel by doing the stuff I'm getting paid to do.  Well, let's see now....if I spent my day doing that, how much work do you think I would get done?

 

I'm a good sport, though, so for your benefit, I will give this a minute of thought....hmmm....I get here at 7:30 in the morning, leave around 4:30pm, and, you pop into my thoughts...pretty much never, unless my job and your job happen to coincide, which isn't all that often. 

 

We're not friends. 

 

We don't hang out. 

 

I don't really care what you do in your off hours.  I couldn't imagine that you care what I do in mine.

 

The fact that you are telling people that we are "fighting" or whatever-the-hell it is that you are saying seems to indicate that you've spent all this time that I haven't been thinking about you, thinking about me.

 

I'd be flattered if it wasn't so annoying.